Medical School with a Baby

It has been quite awhile since my last post. Shame on me. Things really got interesting in second quarter, and third quarter is unrelenting. And then I found out, back in February that I'm pregnant. Mini-me was certainly planned, but not probable. I was not intended to have children, according to my doctors. Here I am, almost 17 weeks pregnant and at least so far, no signs of any problems.

I was waiting for some real inspiration for a post. Something uplifting and wholesome for future doctors. Something that will make the pre-meds very excited. Unfortunately I have had no such luck. It's not that I'm miserable, I'm not, but it's absolutely grueling, and sometimes that takes a toll on my usually positive self.

Balance. It's such a simple word, really. However, if one adds medical school and pregnancy to the equation the calculus becomes much more interesting. My pregnancy hasn't been too bad. I've been exhausted and quite sick, but nothing too major to report. Medicine of course does not care. It's not that my professors are callused and uncaring; they have been great. However, were I to put off a test on account of morning sickness, then I'd have to double-up studying for the next day's tests. Not an option. I dragged my sick and nauseated self to an anatomy final. I was sweating bullets trying not to hurl (chunder, vomit. . .). I managed and I even did all right on the exam, but it was pretty awful.

Balance. I cannot and will not spend all day and all night of everyday studying. The people who do that are machines, and not in a good way. People are not machines and algorithms do not always work. Creative thinking does have its place. I refuse to see people as merely a set of numbers. Those numbers are important, but if the doctor can't think beyond that - well then, you're going to have a problem.

Balance. What if I forget to listen? What if I'm so busy that I cannot really look? What am I then? I am that doctor that everyone complains about. The one who walks in the room and says without introduction to a cancer patient, "We're going to have to remove that finger." True story. It's unfortunate that every medical student (myself included) thinks that we're never going to get anywhere if we can't intelligently define LaPlace's Law. It's simply not true.

Balance. What does student Dr. Anne recommend? That you lay in bed for a few extra minutes every morning to take in the sounds. Look around at the trees. Have a good cry. Try to do better. We must do better.