Why me? I don't consider myself an especially empathetic person. In fact, if my Mother were reading this she might laugh at the thought. It's not that I don't care about people - I care deeply. However, I am extremely honest, sometimes to a fault, and that has gotten me into trouble from time to time. But now, now that is a huge asset. I can look my patients in the eye and tell them the truth - about me, about others, about themselves. And they open up. They let years of guilt and sadness and frustration out. They cry. They say things like, "I've never told anyone else about this. I feel very comfortable with you." It's extremely humbling and I cherish it.
Doctors often say, "Don't waste your time; patients never listen." I want to say, "Maybe it's you who isn't listening." People need to be heard. They need the time to find the words and courage to open up and have a discussion. I teach my patients by listening to them. I try to find where they are and join them on their path. Sometimes I suggest a new direction, but always with them by my side.
What will happen to me after I've been doing this for 10 years? I can only pray that G-d will give me the strength to keep on walking with my patients, because the journey is really amazing.
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3 comments:
So many times I've been told that patients don't listen. But sometimes they really need to be heard. Like, like, like.
totally agree with you
I volunteer with Red Cross. As I was looking into volunteering and trying to find my fit, one of the trainers said, "I am claiming you for disaster relief. Do you know what an Empath is? You fit. Train for other things later, but I want to be able to stick you on the front lines if I need to."
It's the open expression. I recognize it in your picture. When you first got accepted to medical school, I wondered how-- you are an artist! Too sensitive to be a doctor! Now? I think you will fill a needed niche. Empathy can be draining at times, so plan your vacations every few months and learn NOW how to enjoy the moment when you leave work.
I didn't finish my social work degree 15 years ago because I didn't know how to leave just what I read in my text books and my lite internships at school. When I first started volunteering in helping fields, a hospice trainer recognized me and asked why I had (a mere!) six at the time kids. He made sure that I got breaks at home from kids and patients before he let me work for him. (I loved the work, but as part of me sending in patient reports, he asked me to write up notes about what I did for fun, too!)
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